By Ajibola Omowumi Ifeoluwa, Student of I-con Universal Polytechnic, Osogbo, Osun State.
REASON BEHIND BROKEN HOME
Divorce is claimed to be the main reason behind broken family. The common disputes between a husband and a wife are the financial issue, sexual, misunderstanding, early marriage, unwanted pregnancy, education, health problem, etc. When the parents get divorced, usually either of them or sometimes both of them leave home.
Broken home is any homes where both parent are not living together with a child in a normal family relationship. The break might be due to divorce, desertion or any other cause single-parent household resulting from the divorce or separation of the parents.
Some parents are still together, but they careless for each other. They are just together because of thier children to make them happy, but still, this issue is still affecting the children. Because family is very important as it shapes our development and personality. The family protects your dignity and takes care of your well being.
Being part of a broken family is something that many people live with, though most of the time, they don’t show it. Most children who have suffered parental neglect or who come from broken homes are more likely to have unwanted pregnancy and that’s the reason why too much of broken home appears alot.
Broken home produce children deprived and denied of quality education, adequate parental care and wider opportunities, most times having financial issues, and delinquency in relation to variables such as age, sex, family structure and substances abuse.
In Nigeria today, marriages aren’t lasting longer as they’re meant to be as a result of several factors be it from the husband, the wife, relations, friends and neighbors. As a matter of fact, it’s crystal clear that agretaer number of Nigerian ladies don’t marry who they truly love but who is ready due to the economic situation of the country or greedy nature of the parents.
Even before now, people who are poor find it difficult to get married to women of their choice and now it’s even worsening as no lady is ready to settle down for less despite the fact there are more ladies than women, some ladies even prefer to be a second, third or even fourth wife to man than been married to just a man.
Prolonged absence of the wife or the husband for either business, school, work, may also lead to the home becoming broken as a result of the man or the woman becoming exposed to other people around and the desire or urge to have sex with another woman or man. In this situation the man or the woman won’t have feelings for the family like it he/she is supposed to. The possible desertation of the home by either on the parent without help or support to one an other or the children can lead to broken home as several thoughts may be coming to the mind of the person left at home (wives especially).
When marriages are not done the way they’re to be done, divorce is inevitable and that amounts to broken homes as the husband is likely to marry another woman or the wife another person and this results to broken home. Separation here entails couple who may for any of the reasons want to be on their own and leave the other partner which he/she may not be able to take care of the child/children and then. Some may decide to stay apart and still be together but this seriously left the family exposed and with possiblity of becoming broken home.
To avoid broken homes families is to get organized so as to move forward.Take time to sort through activities, job demands, a budget, available resources, friends who can provide support and backup, etc. This will help you to be more in control of your situation and to focus on what’s important.
Ask for help, It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. There are resources available, but you have to make the connection. Neighbors, friends and co-workers are often ready and willing to step up to the plate when you need them.
Focus on family and set expectations, keep the lines of communication open, establish boundaries and set aside time to be together as a family.Throw perfection out the window. It isn’t about having it all together. It is more about doing the best you can under hard circumstances.
Parents who want to reduce the negative effects of divorce on their children should strive to be effective because it reduces conflict and increases cooperation in the family. Parents should also make sure they are available for their children when ever they need advice on what is disturbing their minds.
Parents have to remember and accept the fact that while they can end a marriage to someone, they will never stop being parents, “Deal says” While you may be relieved to be out of the marriage, your children have been in a transitional crisis. How well they recover from that crisis has a lot to do with you, the parents. The key to successful co-parenting is separating the dissolution of your marriage from the parental responsibilities that remains.
Do not discuss your personal life or that of your husband to unknown person or a new friend you just meet within the period of time. Despite the divorce or misunderstanding among you two make sure you look after the children for the purpose of their future.
