By Elizabeth Badejo
Marriage can become unbearable when trust is broken which often leads to arguments, disagreements, and a total breakdown of law and order in a relationship. Conflicts are commonplace in marriages but when the differences in opinions are misinterpreted, it can provoke violence and defamation of the other person’s character. While some couples break up taking the hurts and bitterness with them, others remain in the marriage living with the pains and distress which can trigger depression, resentment, and hostility within the marriage. Some couples can find it difficult to resolve their differences if one person is in the habit of playing the blame game or often too hypercritical about situations.
Forgiveness is self-care
A person who can forgive his/her own mistakes is more likely to find it easier to forgive their spouses too. Creating a room for forgiveness is essential and enables one to repair the damages conflicts leave behind. Forgiving can become easier to accomplish when couples understand that anyone can make a mistake and no one is perfect. Therefore, it is important to leave room for mistakes and forgiveness in one’s lives and marriage.
Forgiveness is tolerance
Recently, the Archbishop of Canterbury in the United Kingdom spoke about forgiveness, expressing that the larger society has become too critical and unforgiving. He encouraged people to become more forgiving considering the world we live in today. Forgiveness in marriage is not only beneficial to you and your spouse but also worth the price you pay for your own peace of mind. A fundamental element of a good marriage is understanding which often affords couples the ability to recognise and assess situations before making decisions in the heat of the moment. A good marriage cannot be sustained without practising forgiveness which allows couples to become tolerant and thrive to make sensible judgments amid the most demanding situations.
Forgiveness is healthy
Studies have shown that forgiveness can bring tremendous benefits to your health such as lowering high blood pressure, and anxiety, and lowering risks of heart failure. The act of forgiveness can break the chain of marital stagnancy and the power to seek and grant forgiveness is one of the most meaningful elements of a successful marriage. Forgiveness can strengthen your marriage, and boost your physical, emotional, and spiritual lives allowing you to take control of your own feelings and focus your energy on positive things you can achieve together as a couple.
Forgiveness is noble
You may find it difficult to create room for forgiveness if your spouse has deliberately offended you and always made you powerless in your marriage. Carrying the burden of emotional pain is worse than forgiveness when you are deeply hurt and still hurting from the hurt. Forgiveness also presents the perfect opportunity to express the way your spouse makes you feel in case you have been bottling your pains for too long. Forgiving your spouse after a failure does not mean that you are indulging him/her, it allows them to take responsibility for their bad behaviours by simply accepting that someone has made a mistake that cannot be overlooked but can be resolved with wisdom and maturity. The absence of forgiveness can turn you into a nervous wreck due to anxiety and fear of the next episode.
Badejo is an Author with the Punch Newspaper.
